Resting?

Resting should be something pleasant, right? I think it is interesting that when I was little and had no real responsibilities in my life, I hated naptime, and that now that I truly need those times of rest, I can’t relax because I feel guilty. Summer here in Spain is something interesting for me- especially now that we’re in August and half of the city closes down to go on vacation for the month. People here are not lazy, but they definitely know how to relax.

As I observe Spaniards around me every day, I am intrigued by their ability to separate themselves from their work and just enjoy life at the end of the day. As far as I can tell, people don’t feel the pressure of “I really shouldn’t be relaxing because I have so many things I should be doing” that seems to prevail in American culture. How do they do it?!

When I got together with some of my American friends a couple of weeks ago, we were discussing some of the obvious cultural differences between Spain and the States. One of the differences is how we begin conversations with people we don’t know. In the States, one of the first questions is “What do you do for a living?” Do you notice the main idea of this question? (what do you DO…) That’s right- we focus on such things as actions, getting things done, and ‘what do you contribute to the world’ in comparison to the laid-back attitude of the Spaniards that seems to be more concerned about common points of interest.

How would my life change if I were more concerned about just living and finding ways to enjoy life? That question is especially interesting when applied to the life of someone who has chosen to follow Christ. Growing up in the church in America has most definitely affected my worldview. I think that I have somehow come to a point where one’s identity in Christ almost relies on what one is doing for the Kingdom of God, and not on the fact that I should find my worth in who I am in Christ. When did we begin accepting the American work ethic as our standard for working in the Kingdom of God? Why do we seem to place more value on those who can obviously contribute to the ministries or community life of the Church with their gifts and abilities than those who Jesus promised would be greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?

A few years ago I came to a crisis point in my faith when I feared the possibility of permanently damaging voice. I was teaching in a challenging setting where I was almost losing my voice at the end of every day (not a good thing for a choral director!). After this had happened for months at a time, I started imagining what my life would look like without my voice. During that time, I began to realize how much of my worth I place in what I feel I can contribute to the Kingdom of God. If I lost my voice, what good would I be? That time of questioning lead me to the conclusion that God would love me and value my place in the Kingdom just as much if I was unable to do the things that I thought would be pleasing to Him. How humbling that season of questioning was for me! And the questioning is not over…

Here in Spain, I am experiencing a summer of unknowns. How do I rest in the Lord in the less busy times without feeling guilty that I’m not busy? What if God is forcing me to slow down to prepare me for busier times ahead? I pray that I can find a healthy balance between becoming actively involved in serving others and learning to rest in a Lord who values me as one of His children.